Your Computer is Too Old!

A computer’s life span depends in large part on how it’s physically treated, and what it’s required to do. You must always keep it clean, don’t stab it with ice pics, don’t blow cigarette smoke into it’s intakes, don’t hang fucking fridge magnets from it’s sides, etc. And don’t expect old hardware to do the job of new. 

I don’t care how much you spent on your computer in 1992, it means nothing today. My clients routinely say things like “It’s only five years old! My CAR is older than that!” 
I don’t give a shit how old your car is! I have underwear older than five years old, what does that have to do with computers?? Don’t ask me why AudoCAD is crashing every four minutes only to tell me that your five year old hardware should support it. *I* am the computer guy here. The mere fact that you’re comparing your computer to your car PROOVES that you are not qualified to determine whether or not your it is too old.
I love questions “Why do you think my computer can’t handle this?” I don’t HAVE to think, I KNOW it’s because you took the spec I gave you two years ago, and had your brother’s kid go online and find Big Value versions of the components and built it yourself. The components in my specs have better quality parts. You picked shitty parts, two generations older than the stuff I specced, that would incidentally still be functioning right now, and you have been pushing it to it’s limits every day for the last two years. That’s what I KNOW. But no, that’s not why it’s not working, it’s not working because of fucking solar flares. 
Wanna know what I think? I think you’re an idiot. 
Oh, and since you bought shit components, they’re fried. AND since you bought them on fucking ebay, there’s no warranty. Now you’re paying me to replace them, and in the end after all the god damned support tickets you’ve logged due to substandard equipment, you’ve spent 20% more than you would have, had you just fucking bought what I told you to buy.
I don’t tell you how to fucking draw stairs and elevator shafts, don’t tell me what should be expected from a computer.

8 thoughts on “Your Computer is Too Old!

  1. Yeah, it's been said that it's obsolete before it's unboxed. That's why we spec machines to last about 3 years under high use. Most of my clients are Architects, and they're rendering drawings and what not. A machine will last a while under easy usage like checking email and blogging and such.

  2. I hope mine holds out a bit longer…I guess it IS about four years old now and it does get used a LOT but not a lot like an architect…..however, I'm a freak for new toys so I won't let it go too long.

  3. You really need to NOT hold stuff in, Grumpy! Incidentally, I'm right now wearing a shirt that sport a nifty picture of my favorite dwarf: Grumpy! :)As you well know, for the little stuff that I do, I very seldom have to change out computers…I think my 8 (or so) year old Dell is still plugging away in my daughter's room!

  4. My previous Acer laptop managed six years before giving up the ghost – five years shared with the old man and one year as just mine after his rich son gave him a new one. I've had this HP a year (all I could afford) , so perhaps I'd better start saving for its replacement!

  5. Hah, that's the whole point of this blog, cause I CAN'T hold it all in anymore! :DFunny you mention that you still have your old machine, cause when you told me recently you were considering a new one, I thought "Didn't you just GET a new one for xmas this year or last year to replace one you'd gotten not too long before that??" But you have kids, to whom I'm sure they triculate. Home use is generally a lot gentler than corporate, even if it is higher in volume or frequency. Like, you could probably push around a fifty pound object for four hours, doesn't mean you could push around a 200 pound object for 1 hour.

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