Supporting Police

So the company for which I work supports many different types of clients. Most of them are architects or Engineers, but we also have accountants, mortgage companies, law firms, and my LEAST favorite, police departments.

We’ve all dealt with police before, and usually when they’re writing us tickets or telling us to stop punching babies, or throwing us out of bars, etc… They’re always the last word. They speak, you do. You can tell they were the kids in high school who couldn’t stop arguing with the teacher. Had to get the last word.

Well, they’re still the same person. I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule, so if you know or are a policeman, this may not apply. But if it does, you can feel free to sit there and scowl, and pretend it doesn’t, I really don’t care.

I hate calling the police departments to support their computer problems, because it doesn’t have anything to do with the law, and they are powerless to do anything about it. They hate admitting that they can’t flash a badge and a billy club at the computer and make it do what they want, so right out of the gate, they’re pissy. I can HEAR them pouting because they have to ask for help. Their always almost daring you to call into question their computer savvy.

God forbid you have to ask them to do something like unplug a cable. Like a fourteen year old girl who doesn’t get her way, they suck their teeth, and sigh, and act all pissy. Makes me want to say “Did you need my help? Did you want this computer to work again? Fix that face or I’ll fix it for you.” I alw

And when the god damned computer works again, you get, “Yup, it’s working. Ok. See ya.”

No fucking thanks? You cops wanna know why it’s so difficult to get respect? Talk to a co-worker who isn’t an asshole, he’ll tell you how it’s done.


Contact Management and Signature Grabber

I’m really kinda pissed about this… LinkedIn used to have an outlook toolbar that put a “Grab” button on it, so you could highlight someone’s email signature, and hit grab. It would take all their info, including any cutesy fucking graphics they use, and insert it all into the proper (usually) place in a new contact form.

Enter Outlook 2010, and they decided not to bother making the toolbar anymore.

I’ve looked into other things to managed my contacts across platforms like Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter (which was a bad idea) Gmail, and Outlook, but everything is basically just a place online where you can upload all your contacts, and then management them there. I want them in Outlook, not on some online database.

And why can’t anyone else create a decent signature grabber?? Why the hell is that not yet built into Outlook? I can right click someone’s name and add them to contacts, but I gotta fill in the freakin info myself??

I’m well aware how lazy this makes me sound, but until you’ve experienced the “Grab” function you have no idea how convenient that is. Literally 3 seconds to create a complete contact, instead of two minutes to make sure you’ve got all the right info in all the right places.

I used to like the “dashboard” on the linkedin plugin too, reminded you to keep in touch with folks you haven’t emailed in a while, listed all your unanswered emails in case they required feedback, etc…

But even Gmail doesn’t really have a good “grab” feature. Same issues as Outlook… I’m hoping there are some Google coders somewhere putting something together to do this.

What do you use to manage your contacts?

Your Computer is Too Old!

A computer’s life span depends in large part on how it’s physically treated, and what it’s required to do. You must always keep it clean, don’t stab it with ice pics, don’t blow cigarette smoke into it’s intakes, don’t hang fucking fridge magnets from it’s sides, etc. And don’t expect old hardware to do the job of new. 

I don’t care how much you spent on your computer in 1992, it means nothing today. My clients routinely say things like “It’s only five years old! My CAR is older than that!” 
I don’t give a shit how old your car is! I have underwear older than five years old, what does that have to do with computers?? Don’t ask me why AudoCAD is crashing every four minutes only to tell me that your five year old hardware should support it. *I* am the computer guy here. The mere fact that you’re comparing your computer to your car PROOVES that you are not qualified to determine whether or not your it is too old.
I love questions “Why do you think my computer can’t handle this?” I don’t HAVE to think, I KNOW it’s because you took the spec I gave you two years ago, and had your brother’s kid go online and find Big Value versions of the components and built it yourself. The components in my specs have better quality parts. You picked shitty parts, two generations older than the stuff I specced, that would incidentally still be functioning right now, and you have been pushing it to it’s limits every day for the last two years. That’s what I KNOW. But no, that’s not why it’s not working, it’s not working because of fucking solar flares. 
Wanna know what I think? I think you’re an idiot. 
Oh, and since you bought shit components, they’re fried. AND since you bought them on fucking ebay, there’s no warranty. Now you’re paying me to replace them, and in the end after all the god damned support tickets you’ve logged due to substandard equipment, you’ve spent 20% more than you would have, had you just fucking bought what I told you to buy.
I don’t tell you how to fucking draw stairs and elevator shafts, don’t tell me what should be expected from a computer.


I think it’s safe to say I missed the end of the A to Z challenge. I think that’s ok though, I got in some good posts on 3 different blogs and met some folks who didn’t ask me to diagnose their email connection to Outlook problem.

This little hiatus has given me the chance to relax a bit, digest some information, internalize and come to some conclusions. Things, I think that are necessary for us introverts to experience from time to time. You damned humans wear us the fuck out. Don’t take it personally though, it’s the nature of the beast. Most people (it seems) like to talk, and want to know what I think. 9 times out of 10, I just don’t give a shit, but that’s not the opinion you wanna hear, so I have to fire up the ol’ creativity forge and spit out some bs. Or, I just tell you I don’t give a shit, and you have to live with it.

You’d think after a few times, you’d stop asking. Isn’t the definition of futility trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

On a side note, I’m tired of cleaning up spyware. Jesus, stop clicking stupid shit! “Uh Oh, ur machin is infeckted, click here to fix it!” This shit still fools you? C’mon. If you know you have Norton anti-virus, why would you believe a freakin popup from XPANtivirus 2012?

On another side not, a friend of mine works in a fairly large IT consulting firm who hires the most ridiculously stupid people to staff the help-desk. I’m convoked that this friend of mine hasn’t been promoted, because the tickets would stop getting resolved. Anyway, the group of friends we both belong to has started a blog for him: It’s a little spartan now, and if you’re easily, or even semi-easily offended, you might wanna steer clear. It gets a little graphic.